so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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