Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and she was petting her beer can
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
