You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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