Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
