If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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