Me. At least after what I've been through.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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