I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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