My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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