dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
