I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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