dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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