Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
