is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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