I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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