We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
