I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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