That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
