He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
