he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize