Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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