Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Come on in and take your pants off
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