Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
