So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
