I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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