i think i have two assholes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
