to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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