Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
