It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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