What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
