plz talk dirty to me
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
