Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
