Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
