if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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