im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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