just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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