Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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