I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
