Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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