I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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