You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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