he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
