Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
