I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
