dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
