I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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