I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
