P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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