sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
