WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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