so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
