i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
