he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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