Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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