Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
