I have demons in me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
